"Eh-oh. Sad, sad." Was all Tinkie Winkie could say.
"She was a bitch, but she was great at getting us out in front," said Spongebob Squarepants, referring to the late Rev. Jerry Falwell, who made his Ascension this last Tuesday. Squarepants and other gay cartoon characters gathered in San Francisco Thursday to discuss the impact Falwell had on their careers, and to name a marketing successor.
"Face it," said Barney, another gay cartoon icon of the past. "He put food on my plate for years after all those brats were sick to death of me and my purple skin, Honey." The Penguins from the 2006 film "Happy Feet" also expressed sadness at Falwell's passing. They had only lately hopped on the publicity bandwagon after their film was declared "homo-tolerant" by Falwell in 2006. "Well, at least we're woolly, that's all I can say," said one spokespenguin. "We're young, and we can dance, not like that lumpy prehistoric Divine over there."
Squarepants was quick to come to Barney's defense, calling the penguins "tarts in cheap suits". At that point, this reporter started to feel queer and had to step out for a little fresh air. When I returned, the penguins were mixing Cosmos for the group. They quickly settled on Michael Medved as their publicity coordinator, having agreed that James Dobson was just too mean ("like Joan Crawford on meth", according to Velma, of Scooby Doo fame), and Pat Robertson could never be taken seriously with "that cute little Keebler Elf face of his."
The group was working on details for a press conference to announce the successor when Spongebob broke down and started shooting bubbles out of his butt. "Eh-oh," said Tinkie. I couldn't agree more.
3 comments:
I just hope some day it comes out that he was actually wacking off to gay porn on his computer when his heart just exploded. Poetic justice...just like Ted Haggard...I yearn for more of this. More!
Rach
Wasn't it Andy Medhurst, a cultural critic and homosexual activist, that first made the suggestion some two years prior to Falwell in The Face? As I recall, it was bandied about for a while in the gay subculture before Falwell said anything.
D'oh! Falwell was never accused of being original. He wan't the first to out the Happy Feet gang, either (Michael Medved had that honor, I think). And I think Pat Robertson actually scooped him on the whole "We got hit by 9/11 because we threw God out of schools and gubmint" theory. The poor sap.
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